God in the Gutter ... no longer a victim after child sexual abuse.

A memoir of hope from the darkness of child sexual abuse and self-abuse. 

BUY now on Kindle and iBooks, Barnes & Noble Nook, Kobo.

BUY book now on BookBaby. Available December 3 on Amazon. Currently on pre-sale through Amazon.

(Book 1 of the Off Ramp series)

Victims of child sexual abuse feel the muck of the gutter. They are smothered in the slime and darkness and often see no way out of a perceived life sentence of brokenness. Most are challenged later in life to find any kind of joy or freedom in healthy relationships. Some wither inside and keep to themselves, thinking no one could possibly love them. Others throw themselves into wanton promiscuity hoping to capture moments of physical love as evidence they are worthy of love. 

God in the Gutter is just such a story: a memoir of abuse and brokenness … and hope.

Repeatedly sexually abused by both a cousin and a stepfather, Deborah grows up wrapped in tentacles of guilt and shame. But she’s smart and beautiful and strikes out to be somebody worthy of love. Grasping at elusive straws, she succeeds as prom queen, fashion model, Playboy centerfold model, and an invited guest at Hugh Hefner’s housewarming party. She dates wealthy men, including movie stars and a revolving door of one-night stands with the “beautiful people.”

But despite having everything many girls only dream of, Deborah finds herself on the precipice of suicide when God reveals Himself to her in a miraculous incident. She learns about love and hope and life after brokenness … the love and hope and life available to all whose lives have been shattered by sexual abuse. God is there to lift you out of the gutter.

What others are saying about God in the Gutter: 

"Life is full of events for which we can find no satisfying explanation in the moment. Looking back, however, we often find themes emerging, threads that weave it all together and give it meaning. God in the Gutter explores these events and pulls at these threads. Deborah Silva’s stories are dramatic, but relatable. Vivid, but not overstated. Heavy, but not hopeless. Get caught up in this story of light overpowering darkness."

Mark Beuving, Pastor, NY Times Bestselling author of Multiply: Disciples Making Disciples (co-authored with Francis Chan)

"This riveting true story of a young girl’s journey from abuse to an unexpected and miraculous transformation held me captive for hours. I laughed hysterically and sobbed uncontrollably. It is a message of hope with vivid descriptions and profound quotes that bring the reader into every experience."

Donna Nelson, Certified ACBC Biblical Counselor 

"Wow! I couldn't put it down. The pace was great. Great descriptions. Well built drama. Easy to visualize and powerful to feel with you."

S.B., Lincoln, CA

"One line in this book helped me to confront a trauma from many years ago. It has been a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders and has set me free to enjoy forgiveness and joy."

Anonymous, Citrus Heights, CA

"I praise God for rescuing you from a horrible life and I pray that this journey could be used in the lives of many young girls who think the glitter and the gold will fill the emptiness of their hearts. Take it from you that it doesn't. Only Jesus can fill that emptiness."

Faye McFarland, Bible teacher, counselor, international missionary, El Dorado Hills, CA

"Great job sharing your story! Wow! I just finished reading "God in the Gutter" and I can't wait for the next book in the series! Deborah is a gifted writer and story teller.  Her book is honest and heartfelt. I cried, laughed and rejoiced with her story. Thank you for writing a book so needed for today, for anyone who needs hope for the future, a hope found only in Jesus."

B. Barnes, Roseville, CA