"He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners ... to set the oppressed free."

There is a road that travels from child abuse, to self-abuse, to spousal abuse. 

My journey on that road began in my childhood, sexually abused by both a cousin and my stepfather. Those experiences paved the way towards self-abuse as I grew older. That road, traveled without outside intervention, merged naturally and easily into spousal abuse. The road didn’t even turn. It became a straight highway plummeting towards destruction. 

Misconceptions and blind faith paved the highway … paved it to the point of utter hopelessness. Dead-end signs loomed ahead of me, yet I pressed my foot to the floor, the pedal to the metal. My life accelerated towards the end of that highway, towards a jagged edge, a drop-off into a burning pit of eternity. But as my hand shook, craving the feel of the cold 44-caliber pistol my husband kept under his pillow, I caught sight of an off ramp.

The signs that signaled my off ramp bore the faces of my children. God’s hands embraced those children and reached out towards me. He peeled back the veil of misconceptions and blind faith and revealed a roadmap, a roadmap not only for escape but also towards a rich and rewarding life beyond survival. I learned I was not responsible for the abuse heaped upon me and I also learned God did not require me to remain in that abuse.

Today, nearly thirty years since I ran out that door, I am no longer a victim ... I live a life of hope and joy. My current husband of nearly a quarter century, Steve, and I are retired and enjoy our amazing fourteen grandchildren. We walk the same road together serving both our community and our church family.

In 2018, we lost my oldest daughter, Anna, in a tragic car accident. It was three weeks before her 38th birthday and it was the evening of our wedding anniversary. She left behind a nine-year-old autistic son. As grief piled on beyond measure, God wrapped us in His incredible arms of love. 

I've learned a lot about God over these years. First and foremost, He is faithful. His love never fails. His mercies endure forever. I've also learned He can make the darkness beautiful.

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." (Romans 8:28 NLT)